That’s the question going round now – what will you do when this is all over? I’m not keen on dwelling on this too much because who knows when that will be, but I have thought about it… 

I will hug everyone. Everyone. Even the ones that shirk away, the ones that physically recoil at the sight of out-stretched arms. I like to think of those people as a challenge. I will chase you. We need hugs, we need physical touch. It’s our first comfort as a newborn. It soothes us and there’s even a chemical need apparently.

I will eat out. I will go somewhere and order food that I want to eat but don’t have to prepare and someone will bring the food to me and I will eat it and then they will take it away. I won’t have to stare at the food cupboard hoping to spot something delicious that I’d forgotten was there. I won’t have to dig out pans and spatulas and then wash them all and then put them away. I will pay someone to do that for me and it’s going to be wonderful. I haven’t thought about why I want to eat – actually, I don’t really care. I just want someone else to make it.

I will walk where I want to when I want to. I miss Kilbroney and Dundrum and Donegal. I will laugh and smile when I have to move out of someone’s way rather than avoid them apologetically. And after I’ve walked somewhere I want to walk, I will go to a café and have a large latte.

I will go for a night out with friends. I will first be going to the hairdresser and the beautician but once they’ve done the best they can, given the long hibernation my beauty regime has had (that could take a while), I will go out. I will go out and listen to music. I will go see all the fantastic musicians that have been keeping me entertained at home and I will sing and dance.

And I want everyone I love to still be around when this passes so for now I’ll keep these hopes in my heart and keep myself at home.

Bronagh McAtasney – soppy git 

About the Author

Bronagh McAtasney is the creator of @NrnIrnGirl1981, real extracts of the diary of her 13 year old self. She is studying for a Master's in Public History, focussing on the unheard stories of women and has worked with the Public Records Office of Northern Ireland on projects looking at diaries and letters locked away in the archives.
She lives in Benagh with four cats, two dogs and a teenager.

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